I have been listening to advice from producers of many genres; pop-rock, metal, punk, hip-hop, jazz, electronic, commercial jingles, etc. I have been re-learning things I already knew, but needed reminding of, and picking up other things that I never thought about much. Some of it is technical. Some is philosophical. If noone ever taught you anything you’d die stupid. It got me thinking about the what, why, and how of my music & art.

Why am I doing this? Why deal with all of the stressful bullshit of being an artist? It isn’t money. I’m always broke. It ain’t for popularity or fame. No one cares. It isn’t ego. I don’t care.

For me, art is therapy. I couldn’t keep my sanity without it. Collaboration and live performance also gets me outside, to meet people. I would have no social life at all without music & art. Making a big career out of it was never really a goal of mine. I honestly never believed it was in the cards, for me anyway. At best, I’ve broken even. If I can get ahead on some bills, that is a bonus.

I do what I do because it is just what I do. I am compelled to do it. If others get enjoyment from my art, I share it with them. Maybe sometimes they can help a guy out and assist me in this endeavor. But, that is a by-product of an activity that I am already engaged in. It’s not my job. I’m not here to entertain. I’m just here. The commercial side of this is a means to an end. Making money funds my projects. It keeps this train rolling. However, this is not the goal of professional musicians. They expect to get paid. Combined with my poor people skills, is it really any wonder that I have difficulty keeping a band together?

By necessity, I’m a Jack-of-all-trades and master of none. I have always relied on other musicians for motivation and focus, to narrow down what I do into a specific project. Left on my own, I go in all sorts of crazy directions and have difficulty getting anything finished. Distractions, perfectionism, and procrastination exacerbated the problem.

Relocating to a new apartment this year, rebuilding a home studio, and stabilizing my financial situation, has given me a reboot of sorts. In this new environment I have, again, been reassessing my creative process. The process effects the results. If you don’t like the results try something else.

For the past few months I have been talking with some guys about joining them and playing out. I haven’t heard from them in a bit, though. Maybe they lost interest. That is part of my problem, depending on others to complete everything. I am looking more internally, to give myself the independent focus that I have lacked. I probably won’t perform live, on my own, much anymore. I didn’t enjoy it. I’m mostly producing music and videos alone, now.

One thing I’m doing is giving up on the full-time band thing. Long-term band commitments just don’t work for me… apparently. I need to be realistic. I will still collaborate on different projects in a limited way. I’m free most of the time if anybody needs somebody to fill in.

The Island of Misfit Noise, over many years, already sort of evolved in this direction. It became the “Mike Nobody collaboration project”, basically. If somebody wants to write & record new original material with me, we can put it out as an IOMN release. If someone wants to perform live with me and play my songs, we can call it IOMN, like a Mike Nobody cover band. It is basically just me recruiting other bands to back me onstage, with no permanent obligations. Consequently, every performance will probably be different as new musicians interpret my songs into their playing style. This isn’t far from what Mystic MarshaKat and I did with N-2 Submission in the nineties. We never rehearsed or performed with the same line-up twice. The Impaler played his songs the same way every time, while the rest of us improvised through the set. It was a chaotic mess. But, sometimes, it worked! It was still entertaining when it didn’t.

Earlier this year I was going to an art studio every week, participating in a program for disabled artists. They provide materials, assistance, and a space to work, with the possibility of getting into galleries and finding buyers. My involvement in it is on indefinite hiatus, though, while they figure out how I can pay for it. For awhile, Saturdays were scheduled, with the fee being billed to our Medicare plan. After a few months, there weren’t enough people showing up for that day to be viable. So, it has been (temporarily?) cancelled. I could come weekdays if I paid it myself, out-of-pocket. But, money is too tight for me to afford doing so. I’m a little disappointed because my artwork was improving.

I’m doing a little housecleaning right now, completing unfinished work, releasing backlogged material I have sat on for ages. Some of it is better than others. I want to clear that stuff out and start fresh.